The Day The World Stood Still

Journal....

Christmas is sooooo Soon.
I dunno why but I cant wait till Christmas break.
I can't wait just for the time to be with my family.


Lately it feels like the world is on my shoulders.
That everything is just piling up and up and up.
I need a nice break.
Thats not happening any time soon though.

This weekend? I think I am painting a Xmas Charlie Brown scene.
Then on Sunday I have the Gift Auction for the Junior Class.
After The Weekend.
That means only 4 days till OOTI workshop.
I can't wait but Im uber nervous for the show and the cast list.
Who Knows?

I think I need to actually sit down and write.
I have a kinda on going story in my actual "Journal" for this class.
But Its kinda scattered and I dunno what things should be where.
I think The transitions need to work better.
And Maybe I can mix things around.
Or maybe Ill start working on a character for the Story
Kristen, Allison, Sherri, and I are starting.
Maybe?
But I need a good source of Inspiration.


I Dunno whats going on though.
I think I want to go visit my LeadAmerica Friends.
In Texas and Mississippi.
And Philly.
I dunno I need to Escape this horrible place for a while.


See Me
Watch Me
Talk to Me
Join Me
Be with Me
Describe Me
Intrest Me......

My "Funk" is You!

So I am currently in a "funk" if you'd like to call it that.
I don't know whats going on with me.
I just seem to not be myself.
I've narrowed it down to a few different idea's on WHY?
But I still don't feel like myself when I change them.

Love.

I don't see why I consider this reason to my funk.
I Have an amazing Family.
That Loves me.
I have a bunch of Friends, who I never see.
But always talk to. We always end our conversations with;
I love you.
But Yet...
I Have no Relationship going on with anyone..
None of my REAL friends live near me....
Only The Backstabbers and liars do....
My Hearts been broken to many times.....

School

I Think I've just taken so much on my plate with things.
I have so much going for me.
Yet...
I feel swamped at very turn...
My Art teacher even realizes Im not myself....

Friends/Family.

I Have this girl who is just like my sister.
She is why Im still here today.
My Parents are Amazing.
People say they are always there for me.
Yet...
When I ask for there help or there opinions I get nothing...
My bestfriend lives miles away in Texas....
I feel like I can never do enough.

Over the past few weeks I've realized who I need the most in my life.
Someone I thought once ment the world to me, well now that person can be equivalent to dirt.
I Think I need a break from this town...
This Life....
These People.

I hope I get out fo this "Funk".
I've been told just sit back.
Enjoy the ride, and take in the veiw.
But I can't I need to know whats going on with my life.


Wishing
Hoping
Hurting
Healing

Feeling
Breathing
Seeing
Being.

The Final Hoo-Ra

The “Last” Creative Writing Story. : [

I grasped her hand as we walked up the subway stations stairs. The noises coming from all around us, seeming to engulfing the atmosphere around us. A man screaming, a fire truck’s siren going off from the next street over, as well as the police cars siren squealing where we belonged. New York City.

“J. Can you believe it? We made it, into the town of our dreams. The great white way.!” Brandy exclaimed as we made our way down forty-second street, and into the heart of times square. She could hardly contain her excitement, if my hand wasn’t attached to her, she would most likely be jumping up and down.

“It’s not like we haven’t been here before, Brandy. We are only here for you to see the theater for Midnight Madness. It’s not like we one here for good.” I said dragging her along the street.

“Don’t crush my hopes and dream J.” she said playfully.

“I’m not, I’m just letting you know that we are here to see the theater. You won’t officially be here for another year, maybe even too.” I continued as we walked along.

Smiling we walked along the street. Looking as if we were a couple instead of two best friends.

“So Last time we were here together we saw Spring Awakening. It was amazing, remember?” I asked Brandy as we turned onto, forty-ninth street.

“Ya.Ya. LOOK! It’s the theater.” Brandy said as she began running to the middle of the street. Grabbing my hand I almost lost balance as we headed down the street. “We’re here. The future home of Midnight Madness!” she shouted jumping up and down. People began to look at us as if Brandy had lost her mind.

“I don’t know you” I said sarcastically, as I turned a way from you.

“Oh, Shut it.” She said as she grabbed my hand. “We made it!”

“You made it.” I said correcting her.

Defying Gravity

So After listening to the music and reading the lyrics of the popular song Defying Gravity from an Amazing Musical known as Wicked I felt like "explaining" it in my way.

The Wicked Point of Veiw

When the song is sung in the Musical by Elphaba, the Wicked Witch of the West. It is describing her feelings of being trapped and held back. She knows she could make a difference but, the Wizard and his assistant Madame Morrible have other plans to use her for. When Elphaba finds out that the Wizard and Morrible only want her to use her witchcraft to create "spies" for them and to get rid of the Animals in Oz, she snaps.Going with Galinda, now known as Glinda (Due to her recent name change when the Animal Dr. Dillamond is removed from Shiz Campus) to the highest tower in the Wizards Castle, Elphaba tries to tell Glinda that together they could fight the Wizard and restore Peace with the Animals, and stop them from becoming animals.In The end Glinda gives Elphaba a broom, which she uses a levitation enchantment on and leaves the Emerald city as a fugitive. An Enemy of Oz.

My Point of Veiw

To me this song is one that says nothings gonna bring you down. Nothing can stop you and hold you back. I'm through Excepting Limits Cause someone says there so. To me people in the everyday world are telling you you have to do this you have to do that, but sometimes you don't. Sometimes you also just have to take a leap and say things you never expect to say to anyone. No matter how things end up there will always be a bright side. Sooner or Later.

HEY CREATIVE WRITING CLASS!

It's JJ..
Obviously.
Well Im not in class for the next two days,
Because Im painting.
You should come Visit me and Larissa at the Corner Store.

Anyway.
Have Fun Blogging today in Class.

No Time.

I have hardly anytime for anything.
Ever.

I have so much to do this week,
then follow into next week with.
I have to:
- Sketch out my Painting for down town tomorrow.
- I need to Write my Creative Writing Story.
- I need to Re-Write a Paper for Ms. Cantillo.
- I need to read like 5 more chapters of the Grapes of Wrath.
- Write a Lab report. Due friday.

Im gonna have like a MELT DOWN.
I wish, I could just stop time for Five Minutes.
I think tomorrow, I'm going to ask Fitz, if I can do something besides Art.
Due to the fact I have so much to do, and with Painting Down town,
Not the greatest amount of time to do it in.

On the "Brighter" Side.
I've kinda gotten over some people, I thought I liked.
Though some People are still obnoxcious.
It drives me crazy, on how idiotic and jerky people are.
How can people Backstab you so much?
Do They not have a conscience?
Do they not have feelings either?

I Guess not.
I think I need to sort out all this stuff.

What Hurts The Most.

Nothing I've been doing lately,
Is either not good enough or good at all.
Somethings wrong with my life and everything in it.
People arent who they used to be.
Friends arent really friends.
Back stabbers and Jerks are behind every corner.

I don't wanna be here anymore.
I wanna go back to a world where no one knows me.
I don't wanna be in Jersey anymore.
I'm not saying I'd do anything drastic, I'm just tierd of life here.
Its not fun anymore.

Nothing here is how it should be.
I thought I would be having fun this year.
Having the time of my life with the people I love.
Apparently the people I love, don't even care about me.
They'd rather put on masks and be people there not.
To be jerks and idiots for lack of better words.
Maybe they never were friends?
Maybe they were just standing here, acting like they really supported me.
Lies.

I guess Im living in a fantasy here.
Its not how it should be.
I'm ready for the moment, when I can leave this pathetic excuse for a real adventure.
I know its far fetched but I want to go somwhere no one knows me.
Or my past
Or my history
Or even my name.
I wanna be the outcast, or the new kid.
The person, people wonder about.
The person that no one knows anything about.
Im tierd of this life.
Im ready for something new.


I Think My rants over.
But There will be more....
I'm sure.

Journal Time!

So I haven't actually written anything deep dark in my journal lately.
I've been writing what ever I can towards the story Im writing.
Its nothing fantastic its just a short "novel".
In my Journal I've been putting little parts of it and notes.
Like who certain characters are refrenced with, descriptions of the setting and some narration.
Its really basic and I think it will come out pretty good when I actually have time to sit down and write it, which is like NEVER!

My life is like so0o0o0o Hectic.
Im doing set designs for the cabaret.
The Playbill Design :]
My Halloween Painitng for Downtown.
A Lab Report, in Chem ( Lets not even start about chemisty)
And an Essay to write towards my Eagle in Boyscouts

Theres sooooo much going on.
But Im actually almost done with everything.
Everything except Chem....(Again- lets not talk about it,)

Oh and I think Im back in love,
Ya We won't go there either : /
I think I have a good Idea for Next Years Play too.
Its not very School Appropriate though : [
But The Music is AMAZING!
The Best Little Wh***house in Texas :]

Always,
JJ

-You can leave in Scilence, No Lyric for today-

Friday Night, Baby are you Sleeping?

I can't hold this metaphor to long,
Won't you open up your window.

So my week and life has been so hectic and screwy lately.
Things just never go that way I'd wish them to go.
I kinda wish I accepted that offer.
Or Even better if this feeling I have for you would just end.
I think I love you, your always on my mind especially when I don't want to think about you.
Just things never go how I'd like them to.
I just wish that sometime, my life were a Musical, or maybe a fairy-tale.
Happy Endings and all.

All I have to do is put my longing to one side.
Tell myself that love is an ever-changing situation.
Passion would have cooled and the magic would have died.
Better to have lost him when the Ties were barely binding.

I've never heard of a musical without a happy ending.
I mean, Take Avenue Q for instance.
Through-out the show, Princeton is looking for his "Purpose".
Even though he doesn't find it, he still has something to look forward to in life.
A Future with Kate.

Stop! Don't! No! Please!

Enough with the comparisons.
The offer I mentioned earlier was to move.
Over the summer, I had to make a decision if I wanted to move to Illinois for a year, or stay here.
Overall because of the person I like I decided to stay.
Now I'm starting to wish I didn't.
True, My mom wasn't going to let me go anyway.
But Still.

I Don't think it was a smart choice on my part.
Ya, I would have lost/missed all of my friends, and of course not get to be in this Amazing CW class.
But, I would have been able to get away from my emotions.
Escape for a while, to not have everything go wrong in my head.

Is that seat taken?
Congratulations!
Would you like to take a walk with me?
My Mind it kinda goes fast, I'll try to slow it down for you.
I think I Want to take a drive, I want to give you something.
been wanting to give you for years.
My Heart.

These emotons seemed to just get stirred up alot more today.
This morning I had my friend give the person I like a note.
(Well it wasn't the morning it was 6th period)
I was nervous the whole day.
Then no reply, or anything.
Then I went to have dinner with a bunch of friends for one's birthday, and felt fake.
I felt like I had a mask on the whole time.
I felt like I was holding something back from all of them.
Though I wasn't because they all know everything about me.
Then I left the dinner, and went to the East vs. South Game at the 3rd Quarter.
The object of my affection was there.
It was akward. Because I really like the person.
Though I feel as if they just push by me, not even thinking Im there.
I think theres a mutual feeling, but I never know with them.
And its horirble.

The night Did finally get better.
After dropping off two kids, me and Marissa drove.
We just drove.
I Kinda vented, but we mainly just drove.
And Listened to Demi Levato, The Jonas Brothers, and other music we love.
I never felt so alive, as we sped around town.

So Take Away the Melody.
All Thats left is memories of lovers, friends, and enemies.
But there all faded.
You may not remember me, I havent got the strength to carry on.

But I know I'll be ok. Sooner or Later.

-JJ

Lyrics Provided in this Blog in order of Appearence:
Friday Night by The Click Five.
Easy as Life from Aida
Mama I'm a Big Girl Now from HAIRSPRAY!
Congratulations! by Blue October [ ft. Imogen Heap ]
The Last Song by McFly.


Authors Note: The "Object of My Affection" is one of the "You's" in You.

You

You Surrond me,
You Engulf Me,
Until Nothings Left.

You hurt me,
You break me,
It's a Bitter-Sweet Death,

The feel of your skin,
The Look in my eyes,
The look starts to fade with all of your lies.

You Sooth me,
You Save me,
Spiraling 'round the bend.

You'll cry,
You'll be scared,
Cause you caused my end.

I wrote this the other day in History, because History is the class I think about things in. Usually I don't post things with such a deep meaning to me online (ex: Facebook and Blogger ). So your probably asking why I'm posting it then? Because I want to get my point across to the two people this is about...and because Chels, forced me. HaHa

We've All Got Our Junk...

And My Junk is you.

So I'm here blogging and thanks to my Blog name have Spring Awakening songs stuck in my head : ] Yay! FIRST POST of the blog for Creative Writing. Once I start writing pleassssse comment my work. = ]

Do you remember how we started? A fairy-tale got twisted and decayed.
-McFly